|BURNING TREE|
I have been putting this off for a while. I didn't want to ask for permisssion to photograph here, even after almost 16 years I still get nervous about things like that. I put off me being in front of the camera eventhough I try to be at least twice a year. When I arrived on location and asked permission, I then knew I would have to photograph directly in front of a family in the water and be completely vulnerable ( you can't see them because I edited them out , however I am grateful for their understanding) I knew this set I wanted to shoot directly in the suns harshest light in front of this tree that has withstood the winds, the hurricanes and tides of time. I wanted to be in the most delicate dress laced with butterfly applique's and to convey both the delicate and strong sides of the location, and a representation of me. Although I gave myself about 100 reasons to not end up doing this set it burned deep within me that I must act on my vision. It is a form of how I heal, reset, and connect with myself to create more. Some of those ugly "reasons" held me back for so long. The dress really doesn't fit me properly, the location is private, What if someone see's me photographing myself? What will people think of me taking self portraits? Many times I doubted why I should photograph myself. And after all the doubt, that time that passed pushing this project off I ended up having to face all the "reasons" and fears all in one. I did it anyway. I knew just like this tree who has stood against all odds that I can too. I must face all that burns within me to create, to explore and to love like fire. I am not to stop, question, or doubt what is given to me but to take it, multiply it and restore it back to the Earth. My passion to see the beauty and hold it in my memories and on my cameras, computers, and within my heart is what makes me who I am and without doubt I stand firm like the burning tree. This next chapter is one I have doubted for a while, let's see how she writes herself Somewhere in Virginia!
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